He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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