He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
