I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
