I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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