I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
