I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize