He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How naked do you want me to be?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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