After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
