Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
