you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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