Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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