There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
