you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
