I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
