I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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