Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
