How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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