I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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