It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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