Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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