Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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