Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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