and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this will be a night to untag.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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