I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and she was petting her beer can
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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