Cold hands, warm shart.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
