There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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