Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
