Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
