oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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