Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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