then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
