I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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