my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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