maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
