well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The air was thick with penises
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A+ Viking dick
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
