A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
