Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize