I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
