I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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