i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
