I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
