best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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