i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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