Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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