I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
