I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
