dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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