"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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