The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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