I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
