I accidentally burped into my bong.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
