He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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