my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
