Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
