She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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