If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
