My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
